Those days when I wake up feeling
As if my spirit had fled my body
Leaving behind a hollow corpse,
The days when teeth bite my insides
Every time my lips stretch into a smile
When my eyes become cloudy suddenly
And tears trickle slowly, like a barren monsoon
Those days when all I am is reduced to being a hypocrite
When faking comes so easily that I feel that it defines me
Frantic laughter, senseless words, desperate smiles
Cover up my frailty in front of myopic eyes.
On such days, I hesitate to meet your gaze
And realize, in the depths of your discerning eyes
My hypocrisy, my cover, my protection fall away
And I’m left trembling in my vulnerability.
When I look at you on those days,
I cannot figure out which emotion engulfs me:
Is it my scorching need that you see me this way?
Or is it cold hatred for you because you see so easily
What others can never see, what I hide so well?