“What do you want?” you ask me, right
Before you hang up. “Nothing” my mouth
Says, We both know it isn’t true, but
It is time to hang up. So we both lie
To accept my answer as the truth.
All I want is to have a long conversation,
Instead of a rushed one about everything significant,
Followed by your attempts to fix me in a single phone call.
I want to talk to you about the insignificant things:
The song i heard that reminded me of you,
The different teachers I have, why I love myths,
I want to say I spent seventy rupees on food I regretted,
That I like walking alone because finally, finally
I am at peace with myself and the nightmares have ceased.
I’d like to describe my ordinary day to you,
Down to every boring, forgettable detail.
This time, I hope you’ll listen, I hope you’ll be just
Talking to me, and that your mind is here,
In the few wasted moments we spend together.
But I know you have to go. I know
If we talk, your mind won’t be with me.
So when you ask, “what do you want”, right
Before you hang up, I say “Nothing”,
And hope you can listen to the everything
In that final word before you hang up.