The Last Photo before Goodbye

My hands shook when I clicked it –
You were laughing so hard that I couldn’t be still
I didn’t realize the flash was on:
It came out blurry,
You with red eyes and a far too wide mouth,
The background indecipherable.
.
I want to always remember you like this:
Slightly blurred, distorted sweetly by memory
This one-dimensional image of you will grow
Fonder to me as you seem lovelier with each day.
Let me forget the absurd pain and funny anger intrinsic in any close bond
Until I face the inevitable disappointment that meeting you will be.

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Tiny Pieces

Tiny Pieces

After everything,

I decided to say 

Goodbye to you.

 

It felt as if a great wind

Was blowing in the spaces

You occupied, but I didn’t rush

To fill them, letting tiny things

Accumulate, till I could feel 

Complete again.

 

I took the leap

I said goodbye,

Some days I wonder

How I would feel

If I was still that full.

 

But then I listen to the wind

Inside my emptiness,

Its force gentler now

As I’m being filled

By tiny pieces from everywhere

Occupying the spaces you left,

And I feel happy for

The emptiness within me.

Him and Her

Him and Her

He looked at her,

“I’m leaving”, he said.

Her head was bent

She did not see 

His lips quivering

As he wished

That she’d ask him 

To stay.

 

Ask me to stay, his mind begs,

I will. I’ll stay through it all.

Our love will never be

A flawless love song,

But it’d be like sunlight

That shines on broken glass.

I’ll never call you an angel

Because you’re the most 

Difficult person I know.

But I’d like to figure out

The enigma your eyes shield

Every time you blink.

 

She couldn’t look at him

And let him read 

The shameless pleading

Written over her wet face.

His words, said so coldly,

Struck her in places

She never knew could hurt.

 

She wanted to beg, to reach out

Tell him she loved him so much

That she couldn’t ever say

“I love you”.

She yearned to tell him

That all her dreams were 

Of doing nothing with him

And never getting tired of it.

Their love would be difficult,

And they’d make each other bleed,

But if they felt defeated,

They could be broken together.

 

He waited. She doesn’t look up.

His eyes beg. She doesn’t look up.

She stops herself from choking.

“Then leave,” she whispers.

 

 

 

 

Your Voice

Your Voice

Write about a noise — or even a silence — that won’t go away. (We’ll let you interpret this in different ways…)

 

Amidst others, amidst laughter, amidst the everyday

I realized with a start

That I had forgotten what you sounded like.

So I seek you out with a hesitant smile.

But when you open your mouth and show your teeth,

I cannot recognize your voice.

 

I become annoyed, I shake you

But your voice has changed for certain.

I slap you. “Talk to me like you used to”,

I plead, my eyes gleaming with frenzied despair.

You look at me and blink twice

I seize you, I search your face

To find the voice that had resonated within me

For all these years, through all this time.

Then it hits me, and I let you go,

As I realize I will never get that sound

Out of you, because it had never been yours.

I found that voice inside me, and know now,

That it was me who had been whispering

For all these years, through all this time.

Fake

Some days it’s easy to fake a smile

To have senseless conversations

While thinking of something else.

It comes so easy, and it seems so normal,

That you wonder when it was 

That you never felt the need to pretend.

 

Some days, the answer suddenly strikes you

And then, when you smile, something hurts

Your eyes suddenly fill with tears, words hurt

And all you want to do, is run away from this,

To that place, to that time, to that person 

With whom you never had to pretend.

 

But there is no going back anymore

Because all that remains in that place

Are broken dreams which once seemed real

So I stay here, talking, smiling, pretending

Hoping that one day, I will no longer be able

To know that I’m just pretending.

The Constants

Some things remain with you, after everything else disappears

The comforting harmony of the night, the cold which hugs you tight.

When you try to remember, you hear laughter and picture bright lights

Was there really no pain then, or is this how you choose to picture it?

But now, what haunts you is the eerie conversations between silences

The forced smiles, the glances you indulge in before pretending not to see.

 

Things you thought were constant collapse so quickly, 

They replace you with one-dimensional memories of you

And when they see you, they see a memory they chose to preserve,

Gradually, even that shadow of you fades away, and you see

Their eyes, blinking to fit you into an image you outgrew years ago.

 

They become speeding cars, making your heart thud for just a moment

Before they soar past you, leaving you on the street kissed by dim lamps.

In the end, that is what you remember: the soft light which shone bravely

After all the other lights were put out, the gentle breeze fanning your tears.

 

They fade away soon, and you force yourself to stop caring

Loneliness is sticky like honey; its taste clings to your mouth,

You gaze at the sleeping sky, the grass peering longingly above

And you remember the constants, everything that stayed with you,

While you were too busy running after sun beams and mirages.

Look

Look

Do you like being scared by books, films, and surprises? Describe the sensation of being scared, and why you love it — or don’t.

 

You look at me, 

And I remember

A dream which recurred;

Me running away, chased

By shadows of people.

 

You look at me, 

The waters rise

I cannot breathe 

As my lung screams

For what it took for granted.

 

You look at me,

The room shrinks

My body is paralyzed

The walls which comforted

Now form my cage.

 

You look at me,

And I see how I’ve died

For you that day, now forever.

The death in your eyes terrify me,

I know I can never live for you, again.