Paradise Lost and Some Thoughts

Paradise Lost and Some Thoughts

A week long holiday. The college is almost empty.

Books in hand, I step out

To enjoy the last smiling breezes of spring

Before it is cruelly extinguished

By the summer sun.


Under the cafe tree I sit,

My head trying to concentrate

On Satan’s seduction of Eve in Paradise Lost.

But the debate of good and evil

Seemed so hard to believe 

In a world coloured with

Different, brilliant shades of grey.


I close my book.

The question of Free Will

Seemed distant as I watch

Dry leaves being tossed around

By the wind.


Adam and Eve’s folly seems distant,

Yet their loss familiar. 

Could I trace back my mistakes

To the day Eve’s hand reached for that fruit?

Or was it just in me, to be so imperfect?


I close my eyes,

And the questions suddenly stop.

Everything becomes clear suddenly:

I am here, this moment is mine,

I feel happy, it may not last, but it exists now.

I will enjoy this moment, I can cry tomorrow. 


What You Were

What You Were

Tell us about a time you couldn’t quite get your words or images to express what you wanted to express. What do you think the barrier was? For bonus points, try again.


A poem in which an emotion is personalized. Hope you get what it is before I mention it, cos this is what that emotion feels like for me:


I never wondered about you enough

To describe what you felt like in a word

When I tried to tell them about you

After you had gone and left me here

All that came out were soundless tears.


You didn’t surprise me or make my heart

Dance with my hands in the air, in ecstasy

You just made me feel like you belonged in me,

That I had been born to feel this way everyday

To always have a smile singing inside me.


I couldn’t find words that matched

Nor descriptions deserving enough

For once, books utterly failed me

But I could hear your when I was alone

When words lost their voices and gained meaning.


You were there when I felt the dew

At dawn on my bare, trembling feet 

In the lonely tree which gazed above

When I was stuck in a traffic jam

In the sky when it was blank,

That hour where the stars had disappeared

And the sun was yet to wake up.


Now that you’ve gone,

They are all silent

They gaze at me 

Like I have betrayed them.


And then, I realized what you were,

That there was a word which trapped you.

You were Happiness. 

Beneath the Coconut Trees

Beneath the Coconut Trees

When you’re away from home, what person, thing, or place do you miss the most?

The sunlight striking the water rushing towards me

The slender leaves of the neem tree swaying lightly

The breeze whispering gently about spectacular sunsets

The ugly white house in the middle of all this beauty.


In the water always flowing gently to meet me,

I lost myself again and again, in every wave.

With the blue sky peering behind the coconuts,

I gaze up, my mind neither happy nor sad

Just alive, just there, just at home. 


Today it Rained

Today it Rained

For many of us the seasons are changing, bouncing unpredictably between cold and warm. Are you glad to be moving into a new season, or wishing for one more week of the old?


I woke up to the sound of pouring rain

And thunder, announcing news I’d been

Anticipating for weeks now: winter’s here.


I sip a cup of hot coffee, and look outside

The rain slowly stops. I watch as the last 

Raindrop slide reluctantly off a leaf, and

The whole earth stands fresh, waiting. 


Winter’s coming, days of ruthless heat

Are finally over. Soon, pretty flowers will

Shyly peek out, a cloudy fog will set in,

And Delhi will be clothed in the garments

That suits it the best. 


I watch the change with a smile

Winter has a way of warming my heart

In a way that the summer sun never can.

A Rainy Night

Days of fatigue, nights of sweat

Struggling to move day by day

The parched earth, the bare sky

Lethargy enveloping every being

My heart as black as the sun.


For days, I’ve been feeling dry

Like a riverbed sucked of its life

My head forced down by the dizziness

Of looking up into a merciless sky

Even my tears seemed reluctant to flow

So that sorrow ended up choking me inside.


But tonight, a cool breeze knocked at my window

Surprising me, stirring me from my numbness

I watched as it brushed the trees, and

Playfully tugged the corners of my mouth

I let the tears flow freely, as I smiled to see

How God made it rain for me.


Too Long Now

I’ve been burning under the sun for too long now

The sounds of everyday life have stifled my song

But when the sun sets tonight, I’ll sing out loud

Don’t ask me to be quiet, I’ve been silent for too long now.


I’ve been walking too fast for too long now

The loud echo of footsteps have stopped me from thinking

But when dusk sets in, I’ll dance around in circles

Don’t ask me to stop, I’ve been walking straight for too long now.


I’ve been watching and waiting for too long now

This chair has been the abode of my laziness

But when the moon comes out. I’ll stand upright

Don’t ask me to fall, I’ve been down for too long now.


I’ve been swayed by the world for too long now

The shouts of others have muted my heartbeat

But when the stars appear, I’ll listen to its thumping

Don’t ask me to smother it, I’ve been deaf for too long now.


I’ve been put out and pulled down for too long now

The contempt of the world has made my soul cry

But when the night reigns, I’ll break out into laughter

Don’t ask me to be sober, I’ve been dead for too long now.


Sometimes you feel very lonely, even though you’re not alone

Sometimes mere words pierce your heart deeper than daggers

Sometimes you cry without even knowing why

Sometimes you wish you could just curl up and die.


Sometimes it’s your loved ones that hurt you the most

Sometimes you find the hostility of dear ones more terrible than the taunts of your enemies

Sometimes your friends can be your worst foes

Sometimes you realize that all you have is yourself.


Sometimes people accuse you of things you’ve never done

Sometimes you just can’t defend yourself against these lies however much you try

Sometimes you doubt your own integrity even if you’ve done nothing wrong

Sometimes you feel like giving up, and never trying again.


Sometimes you don’t feel like waking up to face a horrible reality

Sometimes even your sleep is broken and haunting

Sometimes you feel the sun burning you, and the rain drenching you

Sometimes you feel more dead than alive.


Sometimes you try to swim but end up drowning

Sometimes you scream but no sound comes out

Sometimes you try to breathe but end up suffocating

Sometimes you feel crushed and powerless.


Sometimes the soothing power if nature doesn’t work on you

Sometimes your favourite songs don’t give you a high

Sometimes you ignore the wind trying to play with you

Sometimes everything that offered you comfort, no longer holds any meaning.


Sometimes you look around but find not a soul

Sometimes you call out but don’t get a reply

Sometimes your smile is greeted with cold stares’

Sometimes you find being with yourself is better than being with anyone else.


Sometimes you realize that happiness is just an illusion

Sometimes you find that people you thought would be there aren’t here

Sometimes you know that blood relationships just don’t exist

Sometimes you search for love, but can’t find it anywhere.


Sometimes eyes that were once filled with love look icy cold

Sometimes voices that comforted curse you

Sometimes people who laughed with you laugh at you

Sometimes people who loved you just don’t, anymore.


Sometimes you try to lift your head but just can’t

Sometimes you try to walk but end up falling

Sometimes you try to wake up but can’t open your eyes

Sometimes the world around you just doesn’t stop spinning.


Sometimes you find silence more musical than voices

Sometimes you find darkness more comfortable than daylight

Sometimes you find the cold warmer than the bright sun

Sometimes hands that once held yours feel cold


Sometimes arms that were wrapped around you strangle you

Sometimes lips that showered you with kisses twist with wrath

Sometimes the healing power of a touch just ends up destructing.


Sometimes you feel very lonely, even though you’re not alone

Sometimes mere words pierce your heart deeper than daggers

Sometimes you cry without even knowing why

Sometimes you wish you could just curl up and die